Greetings wilding folk, how are you doing?
I love Autumn, the colours, the light, the call to rest.
However, so far this Autumn I have had a bit of a rough time, vertigo has been spinning me out for almost a month.
On the scale of things (I see and feel the much bigger picture) vertigo is unpleasant but manageable, bearable, I guess not much more than an inconvenience.
But there's something underlying (of course!).
As Bob Dylan, an old favourite of mine sung back in the '60's, 'Times they are a changing!'
Again? Still? Differently? Not fast enough? Too fast?
Whatever way you are experiencing it, it really can't be denied that these times are indeed changing.
I have a sense that the vertigo I have been experiencing is directly related to the changes we are in, specifically the disintegration shifting into the new.
If you have never had vertigo, you can liken it to having been on a Wurlitzer for a long, long time and then stepping off onto solid ground while everything around you is still moving.
This particular bout of vertigo (I've had it before) I describe as feeling like 'I am falling off the edge of the world'. And that feels like a reflection of how I feel the changes are impacting me.
Are you experiencing time slippage? Are solid objects looking wobbly or soft? Does sunlight look more radiant? Do colours look more vibrant? Do you sense the veil has lifted? Have you seen how many dragons are in the sky!
I was lying in bed last night thinking about what I am asking you and the words that flooded into my brain were
'there was a time when you would have been considered 'mad' or to be a 'witch' if you expressed that out loud to others'.
And then I thought
'actually we're still in a time when others will think those things of me'.
Usually I would say,
"I don't care what others think".
But, I can feel a strong element of fear in my body, which is not solely to do with ancestral memory of being burnt at the stake for expressing 'other worldly experiences'.
No, this fear I feel is very present in the now. It's called 'The Cancel Culture'. It's called external authority telling us to keep our mouths shut, to vilify us for speaking our Truth, to threaten us with restrictions if we do not stay silent. We are shamed at every turn if we don't tow the line and step in time with the banging of their guns and bombs.
The mangy old beast is shaking it's ugly head, snapping and snarly with demented vigour at our hearts.
It's difficult to ignore isn't it?
It's difficult isn't it, to not give the rabid beast energy by thinking about it?
Awful, terrible things are happening.
Each of us is seeking a way to make a difference.
Each of us are expressing our outrage, our anger, our disbelief in our own ways; increasing numbers of us, I feel, are saying
I don't listen to the news, I try not to engage in conversations of doom and gloom. I try to see beyond and into the new world we are collectively birthing even while all around us is devastation.
And so, the radiant light, the vibrant colours, the feeling of the veil being lifted is hard to hold onto.
It's not surprising is it, that many of us are feeling like we are being flipped from one state of being to another in a heart beat; from flowing in utter bliss, to catching a whiff of the beast's bad breath and spluttering and stumbling into despondency?
So, what do I do to quiet the beast?
I do what I can, day by day.
I listen to magical souls like Pam Gregory, like Kaypache, like my Unbound sisters.
I listen to mantra's and I chant, I walk in nature, I hug my children and my husband. I send love and compassion to all of humanity.
I acknowledge the feeling of fear. I explore what the fear is. I don't push or punish myself for not knowing or not resolving the fear.
I choose to experience fear as a reminder to stay alert and connected to the world of magic and miracles and love.
I come back to my heart and I breathe.
I try to stay in a space and place of peace and radiate love out into the world.
I connect and communicate with wilding souls who are doing the same.
Each heart beat, each breath, each thought, each action, each response, each word, each look, each dream, I choose to fill with innate, instinctive, beautiful energy of love.
I wonder how you are staying in your heart space? And as I wonder, I send you wishes of hope, of calm, of peace and always of love.