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Feeling into Autumn

How are you feeling as the days drift further into Autumn?

As someone who lives in tune with being cyclical, and living deep within nature, I have come to love the changing of the seasons.

I have distant memories of myself feeling resentful towards the weather when summer came to end and the cooler, wetter weather took it's place! I can laugh at myself now for feeling that way, but also have compassion for myself in those times of being disconnected from the song of my soul and having not yet learnt how to live with self care and love at the heart of what I do.

Nowadays, what ever the weather, I am grateful for Mother Earth's gifts. This in turn allows me to feel into her cycles and my own at a deeper level. What do I mean by that? Well, let's take today as an example, within the context also of these specific times.

I have been feeling exhausted despite daily self care and love practices. Each day I have taken myself down to the stream and spent time in ceremony, journeying with my spirit guides. I have been going to bed earlier, watching fewer movies, scrolling less on FB, avoiding posts and news in relation to Covid, reading only uplifting, light-hearted or funny feeds. I have meditated and listened to soothing music before falling asleep. And yet, on waking I feel anxious, I do not feel 'well rested', today I felt tearful and 'stuck'.

After breakfast, I spent some time by the stream, drumming and singing and crying. I watched the water flow , I felt the drizzle on my face and hair, I noticed the falling leaves and the chatter of birds. I reminded myself of the beauty of the changing season, I LOVE Autumn, I reminded myself of the grief I am feeling at the loss of the flow of freedom. I reminded myself that as a cyclical being this is the season calling me to go inwards, to slow, to reflect, to open and allow the changes. And more than anything I reminded myself of the discomfort I feel in not knowing. The chaos of uncertainty is not unfamiliar to me, but this particular uncertainty of this specific time we are all trying to navigate is exhausting.

So, if you are tired beyond words on some days, if you are struggling to connect to your creativity and motivation, if you are confused and tearful, if you feel all or some of this, even though you are making efforts to look after yourself, I invite you to take a moment to breathe deeply, place your hands over your heart, as you breath, feel the beauty of the death and rebirth that Autumn ushers in, give gratitude to Mother Earth for her wisdom, which when we open to and connect to, we understand once more that her cycles are our cycles, that we are one, there is no separation, this is our strength, this is our medicine, this is our healing.

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