Do you remember talking to yourself as a child? Or perhaps you had an ‘imaginary’ friend? I have vivid memories of sitting under a huge Conker tree and talking with fairies. I can see in my mind’s eye my younger me, the tree, the garages to my right and the playing fields to my left. And as I recall this I can see the fairies, tiny beings with iridescent wings, playful, laughing, flying and dancing.
What I don’t recall is the moment I stopped talking and playing with them. I expect it was a gradual process, of being laughed at by other children, being told ‘not to be silly’ by adults, telling myself to ‘grow up’ as I observed other children letting go of their own imaginations, dreaming and visioning.
How sad it is that we step away from the beautiful gifts we are born with, the freedom of thought, the connection to our intuition, our innate ability to cross the thresholds into other worlds as and when we please.
We are given so many false identities as children, ‘she’s a sweet little thing, so well behaved’ (the ‘good girl’ label) and we learn all too quickly to then label ourselves continually throughout our adult life, each time pulling us further and further away from the true nature of who we are – a conscious being, deeply connected to nature, to all of life and the other worlds.
So, how do we re-connect? How do we find our way again to dreaming, to play, to our intuition? How do we let go of the labels and false identities?
Well, in my experience it took time and falling into depression. Becoming depressed allowed me to go into the void. I had to stop. I had to rest. I had to grieve and go inward to begin to peel back the layers. But in truth, that was only the beginning. When I was in my depression I did not yet realise what a gift it was. That realisation came much later when I went into the void again as a menopausal woman. During that phase I knew the gift, I knew the alchemy of menopause.
In both situations I had shed skins that I had outgrown, I opened doorways which had been closed for far too long. I began to nurture and nourish myself through my love of nature, my love of Mother Earth.
This year, 2020, has been another gift. Another dive into the void. In this void my relationship with Mother Earth has guided me into the initiation and is holding me through the disintegration we are all experiencing. And Mother Earth is of course our link, our pathway, our breath, our heart beat our connection to the true nature of who we are. Through her we will find our way again to being conscious beings, living in reciprocity with all living things. And there’s the magic, because in that moment of awakening the portals open up.
Will you cross the thresholds and venture into the portals? Will you shed your too tight skin and allow yourself to play with the fairy folk, swim with the mermaids, dance with the fire goddess?
As a woman, I feel an ancient shudder when I express myself in these ways. Talk of other world beings, of magic, of portals would have had me burnt at the stake, drowned in a pond or imprisoned in dungeons. In more recent times I would have been institutionalised, given drugs to sedate me, been labelled as ‘mad’ or ‘deranged’. Today, I expect there will be raised eyebrows, sniggers, tuts, ‘what is she talking about?’
But I refuse to allow others to tell me who I am, what I should or shouldn’t be, how I ought to behave, what is OK to say and what isn’t. I refuse to be bound by the patriarchal paradigm we have all suffered in for far too long.
We are collectively shifting into a new paradigm. The shift feels edgy, uncomfortable, scary at times and that’s great! Why? Because it means we are stepping into the unknown and when we do that we have to stop, we have to listen, we have to quieten our busy minds and let go of all that no longer serves us. We need that spaciousness to allow ourselves to be vulnerable, to reach out and ask for help, to know we are not alone, to know we belong to something so very beautiful, so deeply nurturing that we can find our way to healing.
In previous Blogs I have written about the 6 elements to self-care and love, Tree Hugging, Barefoot Walking, Fireside Story Telling, Naked Dancing, Dark Moon Dreaming, Full Moon Howling
Within these 6 elements I suggest ways in which you can begin to re-claim and re-wild the true nature of who you are, bringing you back to breathing with nature, with the song of your soul and with the love of being alive.
Why not take a look and choose one a week to try out? Call to your inner child and ask her or him to try them with you. Perhaps invite your own childhood fairy friend, a dragon, a unicorn, a rainbow coloured giant bird to dance and play and howl with you again. Have fun with your inner child, who knows what delights you will encounter together!
If you would like to discover other ways in which to re-wild the true nature of who you are, I’d love to invite you to a free 20-minute chat to explore your curiosity with you and what I offer in facilitation.
I look forward to hearing from you.