This morning I had a medical procedure called a Hysteroscopy. This involves a small probe being inserted into the womb via the cervix. The purpose is to look at the thickness of the womb lining, needing to be checked because I had a little spotting and being post menopausal the medical recommendations are to have it checked out.
I had a Hysteroscopy about 2 years ago due to having a very long bleed and was older than is considered usual to be bleeding at all. Intuitively I knew it was my final bleed, the transitioning to being a post menopausal woman, the phase of life in which we become Crone.
So, although my intuition was telling me all was well in my body, I chose to have the procedure to be 'on the safe side', learnt 'medical authority' is very powerful.
With the first Hysteroscopy, I experienced no pain, only a little discomfort, deep breathing supported me well, the procedure was done swiftly and, as I had intuited, all was well in my body.
This morning was an entirely different experience.
A few weeks ago, I had spotting over several days and following guidance in my go to menopausal book by Suson. S. Weed, I called my GP.
I was referred to hospital for a scan and if the lining showed as being too thick, a Hysteroscopy would be performed.
Because I have several Uterine Fibroid's the radiologist today, was unable to make a measurement and so upstairs I went to see the Dr. to decide if a Hysteroscopy would be necessary.
Now, it is important at this point in my story to tell you that last night I called in my Power Animals to be with me today. I asked them to give me 'comfort and courage' during the procedure if it was to be done (these were the 2 words that came in).
Back in the Dr's office,Power Animals with me, he began to fill out my personal details and asked me
'What do you do?'.
I answer this question in many ways, depending on who I am speaking with, and I rarely refer to my healing and Shamanic work. However, in that moment, without hesitation, I immediately said
'I'm a healer and an author'.
What he heard and was interested in was 'a healer'. He then I asked me if I am a Preacher.
'No', I said and I explained I use energy healing, working with the Divine Feminine and Shamanism.
Again, I had no hesitation in saying this!
He was genuinely interested and, telling me he had never heard of Shaman's, I was delighted to inform him that Shaman's were the original medicine women/men, their traditions dating back 100,000 years. I went on to say that they were the healers who worked with spirit, and with plant medicines, natural and organic. And with that, I went into the changing room to get ready for the procedure.
I walked into the examination room and was asked to first sit on the edge of the chair and then put my legs into the stirrups before the chair was lowered to a lying position.You will know as a woman how vulnerable it feels to lye on your back and put your legs into the stirups.
I could feel myself preparing to go into a trance state.
There were two nurses to assist the Dr, and all three were caring and gentle and supportive.
Asking them to switch off the television above the examination couch, I began to breath deeply, I closed my eyes and connected with my Power Animals, who were clearly already with me having made themselves known within the conversation with the Dr.
He struggled to find my cervix, so had to use a speculum. This was uncomfortable, a little painful. I continued to breath and visualised my Power Animals with me. The Dr then began to insert the probe. I felt an instant cry from deep, deep within.
My response was ar more than a reaction to my physical pain, I was feeling too my ancestral wounding of the Wild Woman. I began to feel overwhelmed as the probe caused greater and greater pain.
At this point I had 2 options. I could ask for the procedure to be stopped (3D response) or, I could allow myself to release the wounding and pain in the ways I have learnt through Shamanic practices (5D response).
I was in both worlds, human form reality and the spirit Other World. Knowing this, I began to feel held by the comfort and courage I had asked for from my Power Animals and gave myself permission to use my voice to release the pain, the grief and the fear I was experiencing.
It's difficult to describe the sounds I made, I suppose the closest comparison is the sounds we make when in labour and giving birth. This altered state was not new to me, being in it in an examination room in a hoospital was!
Once I started the sounding, the release activated my sorrow and I sobbed, still sounding, and now also holding onto one of the nurse's hands, I needed to feel a physical connection to a sister.
Finally, the procedure was over. I continued to breath deeply until I felt fully back in the room and ready to open my eyes and sit up.
Before leaving the room, I wanted to explain to the Dr and nurses what I had been doing, I wanted them to know what the sounding was and how I was calling in my Power Animals to support me. They listened with interest.
The Dr then told me that my womb is healthy.
I felt physically battered and emotionally exhausted when I left but spiritually I felt awakened and aligned to the spirit worlds.
When I got home I rested for a while and spoke gently with my womb, I needed to ground myself, after which I went down to the stream to create an altar to nature, something I had been wanting to do for several weeks. I then felt a call to sink my body into the plunge pool in the stream, a beautiful act of cleansing and clearing. My physical body felt alive again, re-energised by the healing flowing water.
This evening I will go down again to the stream and my new altar to journey with my Power Animals and to give gratitude for their guidance and holding.
I know that how I chose to deal with my experience today is not every woman's 'cup of tea'!
The reason I really wanted to share mine with you is to say, don't be afraid to do what you need to do when dealing with something that is likely to trigger a strong response.
If you consciously give yourself permission to do what you need to do, you may find you will open a doorway to let go of what no longer serves, going way beyond dealing with the physical 3D experience!
It may be you are called to cry, or swear, or laugh, or shout, or sing, or to howl, what ever feels right for you, even if you don't work with spirit, your Wild Woman is always there to help you.
If you do have a procedure like the one I had, spend some time afterwards at home to rest, connect to your womb, perhaps have a warm bath with oils or Epsom Salts, put on some gentle soothing music and if it feels good, call in the healing love of the Universe.
I will be doing this and a Womb Healing when I finish this post, my womb is still feeling sore and aching, unsurprising considering what she had done to her - I forgot to mention a 'routine' biopsy was done too, so I bled a little afterwards and now I'm experiencing those long gone sensations like I am about to start menstruating.
So, take good care of yourself dearest sister in these situations that can bring fear and uncertainty. Listen to your intuition, do what you need to do, call in what will support you through the experience.
If you would like to book a Womb Healing or Shamanic Journey before or after a procedure to help you connect to your womb, your Spirit Guides and your Wild Woman, please get in touch with me https://www.spiralsofwellbeing.co.uk/subscribe